De Tails of a Naughty Afrikaner

Because nobody reads the foreword this is dedicated to those that can’t anymore.

For ageing, one has to live, and when one lives with satisfaction and happiness, there need be no regret, for as Mark Twain said, “Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many.”

(Stolen from “The Hindu”)

Some names, places and timeframes in this book might have been changed to protect the not so innocent, and in a couple of cases the chapter was told to me as the truth. Very few of those I was not part of, but really good stories from people I know.

All in this book is based on fact (Disclaimer: except for those based on fiction) as always on my mind are the wise words of a very good friend of mine – “Never let the truth interfere too much with a good story”

I am fortunate enough to have lived a life where I do not have to alter the facts in most cases. Spent 2 years in the military, 7 years as a Rescue Medic and Firefighter during the most turbulent times in South African history in the ganglands and black townships around Cape Town. Then or many years I travelled across the globe and worked in many different African countries, I think at last count 27.

I love life, and have a fortunate demeanor that has led to my “Think – then try not say no” attitude, hence experience everything once and keep the good. People call it being an adrenalin junkie, I just call it the love of the unknown.   

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing, great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

-Winston Churchill-

Chapter 1: Don’t suck helium to tackle a Russian hitman

“When he said underground, he really meant it. Based in some kind of industrial area, you walk down this long dark alley between two semi dilapidated buildings – down some steps into the ground where there is a door. In front of this door is the biggest scariest looking man giant I have ever seen in my life – and that includes in the movies.”

Chapter 2: Russian Ladies, eating Whoppers and racing to the Creek

A voice from somewhere under my stare asks in Russian which I assumed is “What would you like?” I start staring downwards to the voice, slowly to not upset Slim Shady, and this being my first Burger King and not being able to decipher the Russian, I remember from television programs/movies something called a “Whopper”. I mumble “Whopper please”, my slow stare down from the menu now reaching the voice, and in front of me stands a super-model.

Chapter 3: The most beautiful love to come from the Vietnam war. It never happened…….

Mr D Gunner start spraying the area with his machine gun to try get the troops to their own cover, bullets flying everywhere with screaming, shouting and people dying all over the place. Swinging his weapon to one of those hiding covers, down his scope he was looking directly down the barrel of a 16-year-old Chinese girl’s rifle.

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